Compile your playlist early and carry it along during your counseling meetings or rehearsal for the officiant to give a go ahead. • Can you be allowed to customise your own wedding vows?

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Tanya Pushkine, a 61-year-old wedding-vows writer and officiant known as "The Vow Whisperer" based in New York City, about her job.